decidedlyodd

Earlier today I was thinking a bit about what I wrote on Sunday morning about frustration and my life. As part of that, I decided to use the search function on this blog to see what I’d written before on the same theme. In fact, I even searched for the word “ennui”. I found a couple posts that articulated the same complaints, dating back to about a year ago.

There are possibly even older ones too, but it doesn’t really matter. I’m clearly complaining about the same things again, which is just stupid on my behalf. Complaining about the same thing is only ok in my book, but only if it’s regarding something that’s out of my own control. I can continue to complain about Seattle traffic or passive-aggressive people because I can’t change those, but I can’t complain about my commute because I could change it by finding another job or accept that it’s just something unpleasant I have to live with under the current circumstances.

This discovery causes me to think more in a problem solving sort of way. If I’m going to bitch about the bars, I should just stop going to them for a while. I’ve kind of been doing this lately anyways, but haven’t really thought about it in such definite terms. I go out much less than I did a year ago already, but telling myself I’ll just stop going until further notice produces more clarity.

The other recurring complaint has to do with having friends who I share more in common with. On further reflection, I may have overstated this a little. I do have friends who I share some specific activities and interests in common with. The biggest example of this is the group I trained for STP with (and am planning to train with again this year). Biking is a positive, healthy activity I enjoy doing and I’ve got a group of friends who like to do it too. There are other activities and interests that I don’t share with these same people and that’s fine. For example, I don’t really enjoy alcohol-fueled party vacations, at least when that’s too much of the central focus. The cruise was fun because there was plenty of other stuff going on besides partying and heavy drinking. The Canada Day trip to California will be fine for similar reasons. However, I’m not planning to go to decadence this year with some of them because I can spend my vacation time and money on something I’ll enjoy more.

That said, the root of the complaint is still valid in that I need to build more friendships around common interests and activities either by meeting new people or expanding interests around people I already know. To facilitate that, I’d like to start some new hobbies or at least ways to spend time. At some point, I’d like to get involved in some more volunteer activities, but that’s going to have to wait until I’m finished with the new OutVentures website since that’s sucking up a lot of my volunteer time these days. I spend far too much wasted time at home sitting in front of this screen. In fact, there are times where I stare at the web browser with a loss of what to do after I’ve already read all my regular blogs and news sources each day. That’s gotta stop. Getting out of the house more frequently to do more enjoyable activities has got to be a necessary part of this.