decidedlyodd

I’m angry right now, although it’s fading somewhat as time goes on. What set me off was having to wait 25 minutes to pay my tab and get my coat at the Cuff. The lines were moving extremely slowly, not so much because they were long, but because people kept fucking cutting in line in front of me. I’m sorry, but it’s not acceptable social behavior to see your friend at the front of the line, cut to ask him to buy you 7 complicated drinks for all your friends then tender multiple forms of payment! I was so pissed that I seriously considered stiffing the bar staff for letting this all go down over and over, but then I realized that it’s not really their fault. The place was busy and they’re just trying to get things made as fast as possible. It’s still bullshit though that people pull those sort of stunts. I was angry enough to call somebody out even, but I held back because I just wanted to get home.

At first, there were maybe 5 people in front of me in line but with the cutting, it turned into something ridiculous like 15 drinks taking at least as many minutes to make. I gave several really nasty looks to various people. I’m sure it did no good, but I’ve got to let the rage out somehow.

Ugh, I’m just so tired of the bar scene in general. It’s just the same old shit. I’m becoming too jaded and bitter these days to even enjoy it much at all any more. Gross trolls giving me cruisy looks. Gussied up pretty boys and leather daddies with almost nobody in between. Sundry acquaintances I have nothing in common with.

Moreover, I’m feeling very anti-Seattle right now. People-wise, it’s the same outside the bars too–passive-aggressive people (who in turn bring out the most negatively passive-aggressive parts of my own personality) and a sea of acquaintances I have little in common with. I have made some good friends who I know I can count on, but I still feel like we have little in common other than being able to get along. In many ways that’s not surprising because I really do so little with my life outside of work and just hanging out with friends, but it still makes me feel unfulfilled. That work has been frustrating and demotivating lately (for reasons I can’t really go into) certainly isn’t helping right now either. Sometimes, I just want to pack everything and leave. Then I realize being somewhere else wouldn’t change anything, which is perhaps an even more depressing realization.

At the same time, it all seems so trivial. Elsewhere in the world, people are dying from war, famine and treatable diseases while I’m whining on my blog about being unhappy in my economically comfortable life. Yeck, it’s all so tragic and petty.