decidedlyodd

With these retro entries, I figured I might as well start somewhere towards the beginning. At least the beginning of where I can actually remember things myself. My earliest memory is actually of my mother cutting my hair while I was screaming. Apparently, she accidentally cut my ear because I was flailing around too much. I guess it’s no surprise now that I haven’t paid for a haircut (or had somebody else give me one) since 1998.

Anyhow, let’s flash forward a couple years past that to my early school years. I hazily remember my first day of Kindergarten (it’s a German noun, so it must be capitalized). Mainly, I remember my parents (one, both, I’m not sure) walking me over there. It was very close to my house. Not even a block away really. My first school was Mattie Lou Maxwell Elementary in Anaheim, CA. I’m not sure exactly who Mattie Lou Maxwell was, but I imagine she was some local celebrity. I don’t remember a whole lot about Kindergarten really. I do remember getting in trouble once for talking in class (me? never!) and having to go and “talk to the brick wall” on the playground for some amount of time. I also remember my mother and my teacher telling me I couldn’t play with the girls anymore because I’d get made fun of as I got older. I dunno, I was never much into the games the boys played I guess. I even went to this girl’s (I think her name was Heidi) birthday party. I recall her parents having a cookoo clock, but not much else. I know I went to summer school after that year because I liked school so much. I distinctly remember my dad not understanding why I’d want to go to school in the summer. Eventually, I dropped out of summer school though probably because it was more fun to not be there. Or something like that.

Although I don’t remember it, I took the CTBS (California Test of Basic Skills) test in Kindergarten and apparently did well on it. Shortly after starting first grade, I had to visit the school psychologist to have my IQ tested. I only remember two things about the IQ test. She showed me a picture of something that sort of looked like a maze. I had to memorize it then match it to one of six (or so) on another piece of paper. She also showed me a picture containing a man wearing a hat and I had to figure out what was wrong with the picture (the man’s hat was flat while the shadow hat a divit or maybe it was the other way around). While all this was going on, the one kid (named Kevin–just like my brother) had been bullying me a lot at school. After I did well on the test my mom asked me if I wanted to go to a special school. I didn’t really care about the special school, but I said yes because I wanted to get away from the bully.

So a few weeks into first grade I switched to Walt Dinsey Elementary School (yes, that Walt Disney–I know it’s cheesy but this was in the town home to Disneyland) which had a GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) program, where one class at each grade level was only “the smart kids”. Eventually, I did make some friends there. The names Abraham, Bart, Kevin (not the bully or my brother) and Brian (who I think I saw once at Cal but I’m not sure) come to mind. It’s interesting to look back on. Since I was in this special program, it was pretty much the same kids year after year in my class all the way through sixth grade. In particular, this guy Jeff Seifert and I were always in the same class. It caused all sorts of trouble because we were both “Jeff S.” One time, I remember I became “Jeff Sc.” and he was “Jeff Se.” Another year, I got to be “Jeff” and he had to be “Jeffrey”. I remember him being really unhappy about that. We were friends though and were in a bowling league (along with Kevin) for at least a couple years.

I didn’t like sports at all. Sometimes I’d do monkey bars and swings, but mostly I wandered around the field with (or without) my friends. I remember the duty aids didn’t like that we’d sit at the back fence of the field where they couldn’t really see us. Another random thing I remember about elementary school was this kid Nathan Serrata. We used to walk home together. He would always brag about his Playboy collection, getting sex lessons from the girl next door who was in high school and other such tall tales. It’s really funny to look back on now.

Over Easter break when I was in sixth grade, my family moved to San Clemente, which meant a new school in a new town for me. I didn’t take the transition particularly well at the time. I didn’t realize how good of friends I had until I moved away. The kids at the new school seemed to have more money, were cooler and generally less dorky than the kids at my old school. On top of all that, I was no longer at a magnet school which meant that I was repeating material I’d already learned at my previous school. It was boring and I was very miserable. I didn’t really make any friends and just walked around the (smaller) field all day. Some kids started calling me “Pacer” because I paced around the field all day. They weren’t really bullying me though. They just thought it was odd. I just never felt like I fit in there. The new school was called Ole Hanson Elementary, although I hear it’s been basically decomissioned now and is used for overflow for the neighboring high school and a charter school. Ole Hanson was the founder of San Clemente (also Twentynine Palms) and had been the mayor of Seattle from 1918 to 1919.

Interestingly, it was around this time that I started worrying that I might be gay, but honestly I had bigger problems like adolescence and the awkwardness of junior high to worry about too. To be continued…